“I Shouldn’t Need Help to Succeed” – And Other Lies We Tell Ourselves

Rhiannon Stafford
May 9
2 min read

Updated: May 25

If you’ve ever thought, “I should be able to do this on my own,” you’re not alone.

So many women in HR have been raised—explicitly or implicitly—to believe that asking for help is a weakness. That independence is a badge of honour. That being good at what you do should be enough to get noticed.

But let’s get real for a second.

When it comes to progressing into senior leadership, talent alone isn’t enough. Hard work alone isn’t enough. You need visibility, influence and advocacy.

And that’s where executive sponsorship comes in.

Why this belief is so common (and so unhelpful)

“I shouldn’t need help to succeed” is one of those beliefs that feels empowering on the surface. It’s grounded in self-reliance, strength and determination—qualities we should be proud of.

But when that belief starts to isolate us, when it stops us from building the strategic relationships we need to grow, it quietly becomes a barrier.

A lot of us have internalised the idea that being noticed or having someone advocate for us is a shortcut we haven’t earned.

The truth? Executive sponsors aren’t shortcuts. They’re career accelerators. And everyone who’s moved into senior leadership has had help from someone, somewhere, along the way.

What sponsorship actually is (and what it’s not)

Let’s clear something up. Sponsorship is not the same as mentorship.

A mentor offers advice and guidance.
A sponsor speaks your name in rooms you’re not in. They advocate for your progression. They use their influence to move your career forward.

And they can’t do that if they don’t know what you want—or if you keep yourself tucked behind the scenes doing all the work and none of the visibility.

A mindset reframe that changed everything for me

Here’s what I’ve learned: 👉 “Being visible to decision-makers isn’t self-promotion—it’s strategic leadership.”

Your credibility, your ideas, your contribution—they deserve to be seen. Because when you show up, not just to do, but to lead… that’s when sponsorship starts to follow.

Want to start somewhere?

Here are three quick ways to build visibility with potential sponsors:

Connect your work to business priorities Frame your HR wins in language the business understands.
Ask for insight, not approval Invite a senior leader to share their view on a project you're leading. Show you're curious, open and thinking big-picture.
Stop waiting to be tapped on the shoulder The people who get sponsored tend to ask for what they want. That doesn’t make them pushy—it makes them clear.